I think you can only be truly mad at someone you really love.” Ana loves you very much, and it’s obvious you love her.” “Darling, you always believe the worst of everyone, including yourself. “We always hurt the ones we love, darling. They make you look at the world in a different light.” “Christian, children will do that to you. You were a child!” She purses her lips again and then sighs. But seeing her finally put it all in perspective for me. You told me you would cut all ties.” Her glare is loaded with censure. “You are the only one of my children that makes me use such vulgar language. Did you sleep with her? I recall Ana’s question from…when, yesterday? The day before?
“What do you mean, ‘saw’?” she hisses, emphasizing the last word with such scorn that it rocks me. My mother’s eyes widen, and she releases my hand. “I saw Elena,” I whisper, and shame washes over me like a riptide. Mom grasps my hand, and suddenly I’m overcome with an urge to confess all. I swallow, and my throat burns with unshed tears, exhaustion, and anxiety. “Mom-” Why does she automatically assume it was my fault? “What do you mean, you weren’t talking? What did you do?” It’s no good-I crack under her scrutiny, like I always do. Silence fills the room, broken only by the hum of the machine monitoring Ana’s blood pressure. Grace says nothing, her penetrating gaze doing all the talking. I mean, something other than Ana lying here unconscious and you being exhausted.” Grace’s eyes narrow and she regards me speculatively. I finish the last forkful and place my plate on the floor, too tired to move any farther.
“That’s better.” Grace’s eyes glow with maternal love, and I have to confess I feel more hopeful with her here. For the first time in forever, my lips lift in a reluctant smile. “Sorry,” I mumble, with my mouth full-and she laughs. “Christian! Don’t talk with your mouth full.” When she returns, the room fills with its mouthwatering aroma and we sit side by side, and she chats aimlessly while we watch my beautiful wife, who stubbornly refuses to wake. My mother makes the best mac and cheese in America-better even than Gail’s.
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